The Future Eventually Catches Up
by Kadiedid
Summary: Deeks comtemplates his future and what he truly wants. Can he find the courage to actually follow his heart? Just a sweet oneshot!


_**A/N Forgive me for straying away from my other story but this one wouldn't leave me alone. I don't own NCIS:LA. If I did... well, just read to find out what I would do! Just a little one shot. Please review!**_

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He was scared. He wanted this more than anything but what if it didn't work out? He was so broken and a literal mess but maybe it was time to do something to change it. He had already proved he wasn't the typical product of a violent childhood. Quite the opposite in fact but that didn't mean he hadn't made mistakes. He'd made lots of them but they were in the past. Maybe it was time to leave them there and move on.

But in order for him to move on, it meant he had to come to terms with his peculiar life and what he wanted for his future. That meant no more pretending, at least when he wasn't working. Could he really do this? Yes, he thought he could but how would it affect every other area of his life? How would it affect his partnership with Kensi? How would it affect the team? The questions kept swirling around in his head but the answers could only be attained by actually going through with it.

He sighed as he sat and watched the waves roll in. There was a chill in the air as he watched the sun slowly dip toward the horizon. There were so many things to consider if he was to do this. He had bounced the pros and cons around in his head for so long it was almost like a broken record, repeating over and over. There was nothing else to be gained by going over it again.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice his partner walking toward him until she was just a few feet away.

"Hey," she said lightly as she came nearer.

He turned to face her with a slight smile on his face, "Hey. What are you doing here?"

"Looking for my partner," she said as she sat next to him in the sand. "Have you seen him? Because the guy I worked with today wasn't my partner. He was quiet and moody and didn't smile much at all."

He flashed a tentative smile at her then turned back to watch the sunset. He didn't reply.

"What's wrong Deeks?"

He sighed and closed his eyes. He wasn't ready for this. They couldn't have this conversation now. It could go badly and then what would he do?

"Come on Deeks, I'm here for you. Just tell me what's bothering you."

He looked into her eyes and fought the urge to run. He had run from lots of things in his life. An abusive father, a law career, several women who had dared to get close. It was his usual destructive pattern and if he was going to move on then it had to stop. He couldn't be afraid of relationships and getting too close. He couldn't be afraid to love.

He tried to smile when he asked, "Where do you see yourself in ten years?"

She frowned and replied, "Is that what's bothering you? Are you thinking of leaving? Are… are you bored with your job?"

He shook his head and tried to calm the near panic he heard in her voice and saw in her eyes. He took her hand in his and said softly, "No Kens, nothing like that. I'm asking about you. What do you want? What do you see in your future?"

She looked away and said, "I don't know. I haven't really thought about it."

"Sure you have. We all have. It changes with time but eventually it catches up with us and before we know it, the future is here and we haven't done anything to prepare for it. We're still just floating around with no tether."

She looked at him curiously and asked, "What do you mean by tether?"

"Roots. I've never really had roots. I've never needed them. I just floated from one situation to the next, from one case to the next and I thought I was happy with it. But I think I need them now."

She stared at him and sighed as she scooted a bit closer. "I have thought about the future but since my failed engagement, I avoid the subject as much as possible. It's just been easier to immerse myself in my job, you know? But honestly, I've have been thinking about it more often lately."

"And what have you been thinking?" he asked quietly.

She hesitated and looked toward the waves. "I've been thinking that if I'm going to have a family, I need to start doing something about it soon or it might be too late. I love Hetty, but I don't want to be like her when I'm her age. No children, no one to share life with."

He felt his heart rate quicken. This was more than he dared to hope. She wanted the same things he did but who did she want to share them with? Did she have someone in mind? Was it him? He tried to calm his nerves before he spoke again.

"Roots. Family. That's what I want Kens," he said quietly, still holding her hand and watching the waves with her. "I just don't know if that can happen with this job. Is it fair to have children knowing that you might not come home one day?"

She turned and leaned toward him. "Who says we'll be doing this job forever? Maybe we'll find something else that isn't so dangerous."

He turned and looked at her seriously, "We? Is there a _'we'_ Kens?"

She looked up at him and his heart began to race when he saw the look in her eyes. The softness and love he saw was unmistakable.

"Yes," she whispered as she leaned in and pressed her lips softly to his.

His breath caught and it seemed as though electricity was shooting through his body. He reached up and brushed his hand under her hair behind her head and returned the kiss slowly, deeply. He tried to tell her how he felt without words. The kiss was intoxicating and he never wanted to stop. He eventually pulled back and looked into her beautiful mismatched eyes. He was blown away by the intensity of the kiss and the look in her eyes.

"Kensi," he whispered then kissed her again, more fervently with the promise of more.

She moaned softly and he nearly hyperventilated. He kissed her several times, with each one more hungry and needy than the one before. She eventually pulled back and said breathlessly, "Take me home, Deeks."

He stood and helped her up. They took a moment to shake the sand off their clothes then he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "Mine or yours," he asked before kissing her again. The feel of her body pressed up against his was heavenly and he wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with her in his arms.

"Yours," she whispered as she wrapped her arm around his waist and pulled him toward his car.

He placed his arm around her shoulders and began walking with her. He wanted to joke about it. Make some sort of comment about her wanting his body or about how she had finally come to her senses but there was nothing funny about it. He was serious and he had never been more serious in his life.

The ride back to his apartment was quiet but he was holding her hand and rubbing soft circles with his thumb. They glanced at each other with shy smiles but the anticipation was thick in the air.

He parked then met her in front of the car for another earth shattering kiss. She leaned back and grabbed his hands then pulled him toward the stairs. She let go and took off running and he followed right behind her. They stopped again outside his door and she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him hard. It was all he could do to find the door key.

They stumbled inside but never let go of one another. He wanted to pinch himself to see if he was dreaming but then again, if he was, why would he want to ruin it? She started to push his jacket off his shoulders but he gently grabbed her hands and stepped back a little.

"Kens…" he started but paused.

"What Marty?" she whispered.

His heart melted when she called him Marty. She never did that. The only time she ever used his first name was when she introduced him to someone. "I just… I need to…"

"It's okay. You asked what I wanted… this is what I want," she said softly.

He leaned in to kiss her again but this time it is was soft and slow and he felt a shiver run through her body. He broke the kiss and sighed softly. "I don't want to rush this Kens. I want to prove to you that I'm serious. Serious about us and about our future."

"Okay", she whispered. "I trust you. Please don't be afraid of scaring me. I really do want this… us… together. I want you…"

She kissed him softly then led him to his bedroom. They stood facing each other beside the bed and he brushed her hair away from her face. They slowly began removing the other's clothing until there was a pile on the floor and they were completely naked. He never took his eyes away from hers. This was about proving his love for her. He wanted her to know he loved her without a shadow of a doubt. No lingering fears that maybe he just wanted to have another meaningless fling.

He carefully picked her up and laid her on the bed then he lay down beside her. He pulled her body flush with his.

She gasped when they finally made skin to skin contact. He could feel it too. It was perfect and real and all of a sudden, his fear of the future disappeared. It was clear in his mind and this beautiful woman was featured prominently.

He kissed her then said quietly, "I have to say this and please don't feel like you have to answer but I've been pretending for so long… it feels good to finally give in to what I've really wanted for a very long time." He looked directly into her eyes and said softly, "I love you Kensi."

He noticed a shiny tear slide slowly down her cheek and he brushed it away with his thumb. She ran her hand through his unruly hair and placed a soft kiss on his cheek.

"I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you before. I was scared you didn't feel the same way. "I love you Marty, and I have ever since you took me to that homeless shelter on Christmas Eve."

He grinned and said, "It was the Santa hat wasn't it?"

She laughed and wiped at her eyes. "I'm serious," she said gazing into his.

He kissed her forehead then trailed kisses down her face to her neck and shoulders. He took his time and made sure she understood just how much he loved her. She wasn't some fling; she wasn't just his partner with privileges. She was _'the one'_.

They made love and it was the most beautiful experience of his life. He felt tears threatening to escape his eyes which had never happened to him before. He was always very in control but with Kensi it was different. She was different.

Afterward they lay together and caressed each other softly. No words were spoken. None were needed. They had said it all without words. She brushed his cheek with her hand and smiled brightly at him. He hugged her closer and smiled back. It was his first real smile of the day and the first smile of his brand new future.


End file.
